When you’re hurtling full speed toward ‘I do’, it can be easy to forget what lies beyond. Short circuit post-wedding stress by preparing yourself for the reality.
Investing time in yourself is just as important as investing in your relationship.
‘It’s a common fantasy that a partner will meet all your needs, and it can come as a surprise when they can’t,’ says Kirsty Robertson. ‘You’ll have to be generous about your partner taking up rugby again, even if it encroaches on your time together. Support each other, but recognise that to achieve balance you’ll both need more than what one person can provide.’
Make sure you have something to look forward to after the wedding – perhaps enrol in a class together, take up a hobby
you can enjoy as a couple, or book a holiday.
‘It’s a good idea to put a plan in place that gives you direction for your new life,’ says psychologist Sara Chatwin. ‘Think about things like, “What do we want to achieve?” Set aside some time to discuss your common goals.’
It also pays to think about the distant future as well as the upcoming months. Get excited about your life together and ensure you’re on the same track by creating one- and five-year plans.
‘There are lots of things to be worked out,’ says Kirsty. ‘Are you going to have children, and if so, when? Who’s going to stay at home with the kids if you do have them?’
If one of you already has kids, make sure you’re on the same page by discussing what role your new spouse will play in raising them.
It’s normal to have a sense of an anti-climax after your wedding, given how much energy and emotion you’ve invested in it. But a small percentage of newlyweds experience ‘bridal blues’, and feel an overwhelming sense of loss.
‘If you have the odd moment of thinking, “Life’s a bit boring,” that’s OK,’ says Kirsty. ‘But if you’re flatlining for more than two weeks, it’s a good idea to talk about it.’