We cover seven more worst-case movie blockbuster wedding scenarios, and how to deal with them in style!
8. The crisis: Your parents can’t stand each other.
Where we’ve seen it: Muriel’s Wedding (1994)
How to deal with it: Sit down and talk to your parents before the big day, suggests Emma Newman. ‘Maybe minimise your expectations of each party – for example, don’t assume that they and their new partners will be prepared to pose for the same photo together.’ Psychologist Sara Chatwin suggests seating parents with like-minded guests to put the focus on the occasion and take it off their own issues. ‘To avoid any tense situations, ask close friends to interact with each parent. That way you’ll be able to enjoy your day!’
9. The crisis: Your beautiful three-tier wedding cake has gone kaput.
Where we’ve seen it: 28 Days (2000)
How to avoid it: Avoid your own cake disaster with this advice from Maureen Keene of the City Cake Company.‘Not transporting your cake correctly creates a major danger zone. It must travel on a flat surface such as the boot or floor of the car. If you carry it on your lap or put it on the seat, you are likely to cause movement in the tiers,’ she says. No-one knows this better than Kate Taylor*. ‘My aunt was driving my cake down from Auckland,’ she remembers. ‘When she arrived we opened the box and saw the gorgeous, three-tiered cake had taken a considerable nose dive – obviously my aunt had sped around the corners! But instead of getting upset I burst out laughing. And my grandmother did a fantastic job fixing the cake – nobody even noticed that it had been patched up on the day.’
10. The crisis: It’s the big day – and all you want to do is run!
Where we’ve seen it: Runaway Bride (1999)
How to deal with it: What you’re feeling is normal, says Sian Jaquet: ‘Everyone I’ve ever worked with has gone through the same fear barrier.’ Sian says the best way to prepare for a mini (or major) meltdown is to factor in 30 minutes of ‘you’ time – ‘space to just be and breathe’. So when you’re planning your schedule for getting ready on the day, make sure you set aside those 30 minutes. ‘First thing in the morning might be best,’ Sian suggests. ‘As the panic bubbles up inside you, breathe – focus on the rhythm of your breath, and allow your body to
relax and respond to your breathing.’
11. The crisis: You’re like two peas in a pod – or so you think.
Where we’ve seen it: Sex & the City 2 (2010)
How to avoid it:After the euphoria of the engagement and the congratulations have died down, it’s imperative that you and your fiancé sit down and talk about the wedding, says Emma Newman. She suggests asking simple but valid questions like how long you both see the engagement period lasting and whether
you want the marriage event to be big or small. ‘Also determine whether it is appropriate to be discussing wedding plans already, as some men will still be blown away by the mere fact that they have asked you to marry them,’ Emma says. Amy Scott* identifies with this scenario. ‘My partner proposed to me one sunny autumn afternoon and, after asking for my hand in marriage, was slightly perturbed by the fact that within 60 seconds, I was talking dates, dresses and dinner menus!’
12. The crisis: The person responsible for marrying you is in a (very strange) world of their own.
Where we’ve seen it: Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)
How to avoid it:Don’t want Rowan Atkinson, aka Mr Bean, to marry you off? Celebrant Kay Gregory says that it is important to meet with at least two different celebrants to find one who is right for you. ‘If someone says, “Our celebrant didn’t really listen to us,” you have your answer,’ says Kay. Good officiants usually have a website, and will ideally belong to either the Celebrants Association of New Zealand or the Celebrants Guild.
13. The crisis: The bridesmaids’ dresses make them want to pull out of the wedding.
Where we’ve seen it: 27 Dresses (2008)
How to avoid it: Keep your bridesmaids happy by including them in your dress choices, says Jessica Wu from Jessica Bridal. ‘Go dress hunting with all your bridesmaids at least once, so you get an idea of the colours and styles that do and don’t work for them.’ Elizabeth Soljak from A La Robe suggests you celebrate the bridesmaids’ individuality with the dresses. ‘If your bridesmaids are adults, it’s a mistake to make them all look the same – each of them has a different look and personality.’
14. The crisis: Interfering in-laws have you on the threshold of a nervous breakdown.
Where we’ve seen it: Monster-in-law (2005)
How to deal with it: ‘Many people who are getting married feel disempowered or overwhelmed by the needs and wants of their in-laws or other family members,’ says Sara Chatwin.
‘If there’s no way you can be honest, the best way to minimise interference is to give them a focus or a task to get them off your back.’ Sara suggests asking a third party, such as a friend, to delegate responsibility for jobs that need to be done. ‘This takes you out of the loop and often means you don’t have much interface with problematic people at this very busy time.’
*Some names have been changed.